


'Crux of the Immortal

by lamename



Series: Bald characters crossovers aka the series nobody asked for [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Megamind (2010)
Genre: Crack, Crack Crossover, Gen, Unforgivable Curses (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 07:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamename/pseuds/lamename
Summary: Megamind meets Voldemort





	'Crux of the Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> Because I need more crack. Proceed at your own risk.

A pale bald man with black robes and no nose popped into existence in the Evil Lair. As he let his eyes roam over the place, a huge snake uncoiled from around him. Megamind and Minion, who had just been setting up their next plot, paused and turned towards the newcomer.

“Who are you and how did you get here?” Megamind demanded, taking a step towards his de-gun resting on the workshop table.

A slow grin came over the intruder's face as he finished his inspection. His eyes dismissed Minion, and he turned to Megamind, looking down his nose. “You’re in the presence of Lord Voldemort. I need to have your best weapons. Show me what they do.”

Megamind scrunched up his nose, eyeing the man who seemed to be unarmed (not counting the snake). “Oh, you must be a wannabe villain.” The man hissed, but Megamind ignored it. “You’re doing horribly, and since you’re an embarrassment to all things evil, I can give you some pointers on style.” He swooped his hands over his collar and cape. “The deadliest creatures look beautiful on the outside to distract from how  _eeevill_  they really are on the inside.” He shook his head at how the man drew a pathetic stick from the folds of his robe. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you smelled.”

“Crucio!” the man shouted, pointing the stick at Megamind. A curious sort of laser hit his chest, igniting pain everywhere. Gasping, Megamind fell to his knees, but recovered quickly once the beam died. “Fine, I guess I underestimated you.” He took Minion’s hand and got up. “But I’m pretty resilient to pain, you just caught me _Una-wares_. Is that the best you can do?”

The man snarled. “Imperio!”

Minion jumped in front of Megamind. The stranger laughed manically as Minion twirled on tiptoes. “Sir, I can’t control my suit!”

Just when the suit was about to crash into Megamind, he jumped to the side, getting a clear shot of the maniac, whose eyes widened at the gun trained on him.

“Avada--” was all he got out before getting dehydrated. Minion crashed to the ground, causing Megamind to almost jump out of his skin.

“Minion, are you all right?”

“I think so,” Minion replied, grabbing Megamind’s offered hand, careful not to pull too hard as he got to his feet. “Where did this guy come from?”

Megamind shrugged and picked the cube up, tossing it from one hand to another. “No idea. But luckily I know exactly what to do with this _Lord Voldy_.” He let out a cackle of his own.

   


Half an hour later, Megamind straightened from his work and tapped his chin. “What was it that he said? Ah, right.” His finger hovered over a red button as Minion turned the cameras on.

“Crookshanks!” Megamind yelled as he launched the dehydrated cube into space. In another universe, death eaters screamed and fell off their brooms (if they were flying at the time)

**Author's Note:**

> My favourite is the AVPM version of Voldemort, but I didn't think he'd fit into these somewhat* _My Immortal_ vibes... I also didn't want to bother with him speaking in Ye Olde English, so I just did my own thing (except for the reference)
> 
> *I suppose I could've chosen to typo, emo-fy and redress everyone and their grandmother, but I wouldn't have been able to compete with the original, sorry. I'm really only in it for the Crookshanks line


End file.
